Thursday, June 5, 2008

Times: Cameron looks like a prat

The Cameron hairstyle, from left, February 2007, yesterday, March 2007

It's a long time ago. But I remember when I started losing my hair....just.

I think the rot started when I was in the sixth form. No radical skull space showed, but I could see I was slowly going the way of my father, grandfathers, uncles, great uncles, great...(you get the picture).

So I went the way of many sixth-formers: it was brush it that way, brush it right, brush it left, part it in the middle, sweep it back, sweep it forward, gel it, cut it, grow it....anything to delay the desperate day (which, in the event, turned out to be a gloriously liberating day) when I finally gave up and admitted to myself that testosterone and/or genetics had made me a slaphead. Or "Daddy made me a Baldy" if you prefer a somewhat more psychotic version. (About 15 years later some kids came past me in a car and yelled out "Slaphead". I really don't know what planet they were living on - I had got used to it about 13 years previously).

Well, David Cameron is doing those sixth form combing tricks a bit late. It is rather puerile.

Ann Treneman in the Times says that Dave's new middle parting completely over-shadowed reaction to PMQs yesterday. She commented on the new coiffure as follows:

Think of Billy Bunter goes to Eton.....The Prime Minister may be unpopular but at least he doesn't look like a prat.

By the way, he's making a habit of this ridiculous hair changing thing. He carried out a similar stunt in March 2007.

So, in the absence of anything other than a couple policies, Cameron silently announces a third policy: "I will change my hair style every year".

Vacuous or what?!

A word about Gordon Brown. Treneman describes him shambling into the Commons yesterday:
He's arrived looking chaotic, clutching a thousand pages of notes. His delivery was at times faltering and on auto-pilot. The stammer was back. He seemed about as bouncy as a flat tyre.

It seems Gordon needs some personal re-shaping advice. He should realise that it is very difficult for him to get any lower. So he's got nothing to lose. He should just chill out, clear his diary a bit, have some personal time, eat better, exercise more, spend more time on his appearance (no, he shouldn't get a new parting - but at least he should do up his blinking tie properly - so often it's five inches adrift from his collar) and enjoy himself.

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