A man has been placed on the sex offenders’ register after being caught trying to have sex with a bicycle.
Robert Stewart was discovered in his room by two cleaners at the Aberley House Hostel in Ayr, south west Scotland, in October last year.
On Wednesday Mr Stewart admitted to sexual breach of the peace in Ayr Sheriff Court, where depute fiscal Gail Davidson described how he had been found by the hostel workers.
She said: "They knocked on the door several times and there was no reply."They used a master key to unlock the door and they then observed the accused wearing only a white T-shirt, naked from the waist down
"The accused was holding the bike and moving his hips back and forth as if to simulate sex."
Both witnesses, who were extremely shocked, notified the hotel manager, who in turn alerted the police.
This man was doing what he was doing in private behind a locked door. Is it his fault if someone used a master key to come in and see what he was doing? And would he still have been charged and put on the sex offenders' register if he had been having sex with something other than a bicycle? If he had been having sex with another person, for example? Or himself? Or any number of inanimate objects? Or was it just the fact that it was a bicycle that "extremely shocked" the hotel workers and therefore led to the charge?
The Telegraph ends its report with this note:
Karl Watkins, an electrician, was jailed for having sex with pavements in Redditch, Worcs, in 1993.
Why on earth do they draw a parallel with that case? Unless Mr Watkins dragged a paving slab to his bedroom, I assume he did it in public in which case surely that is distinctly and vitally different from doing something in private behind a locked door.