The Camshaft's excruciation

There is something exquisite about this. Policy Exchange was set up by Nicholas Boles, who David Cameron pushed into London's City Hall to keep Boris on the straight and narrow, and Michael Gove, Cameron's chief right-hand greaser.

Dear old Policy Exchange, albeit aided and abetted by our own Tim Leunig, decided to issue a report telling all northerners to get on the M1/M6 immediately and set up shop in Cambridge or Oxford or areas in London to be made available as and when (before which time no doubt transit camps just outside Maidenhead (Terry Wogan's garden?) will be used). But they issued the report on the very day that Dear Old Cameron, fresh from blowing himself out on Ricky Stein's fish and chips, commenced a regal three day tour of northern cities.

So now the poor old Camshaft is well and truly...well....er....Camshafted and has to spend the first minute of every interview fending off questions about the report.

And, oh look, he's actually had to turn round and call the report "insane" (which it isn't really - it has some sound rationales running through it in an academic sort of way, but is, in a normal way, a little bit on the crrrrraaaaaaaazeeee side).

You have to laugh. Perhaps by the end of his three days, Camshaft might end up ruefully remembering the song below. However, for a roll call of towns north of the Watford gap, I prefer "Letter to America" (also included below for your delectation, and indeed, "Lochaber no more" perhaps as a populist and poignant goodbye to Dear old Russell Johnston, who represented that fine area).