I have an admission to make.
In my darkest moments, at around 02.10 hours, when one wakes up and checks the clock and thinks "Oh no, how am I going to get back to sleep again?", I do think that David Cameron might actually be a liberal and that the Liberal Democrats might actually be....choose your words carefully Paulus, you've already written "cobblers" in the title and the vicar night read this...stuffed.
Fortunately, this thought only fills my mind for what scientists call a "nano-second", once every blue moon.
Fortunately, D.Cameron rides to the rescue and I realise that, after all, he really is just a good old-fashioned 42 carat Tory plonker.
One such rescue-riding moment was the publication of the Conservative social exclusion report.
"Everybody needs to get married and then there will be no poverty" was the essence of this report. Guffaw.
Thank goodness, there was another rescue-riding moment by D.Cameron this morning on GMTV.
Before I move onto that, I have another admission to make.
I cannot report this interview at first hand. I do watch GMTV, as my regular reader will know. More accurately, my wife watches it and I have to go along with that choice, confined as I am to the marital bedroom, at that time of the day.
Today I had a day off from work. Hurrah! Even then, we were watching GMTV at about 8ish. My wife was explaining something protracted to me. Meanwhile, out of the corner of my eye, I noticed GMTV's Fiona, bless her, coming on and saying cheerfully that they had David Cameron on the line from his home.
It is a very rare occasion indeed for me to stop my wife in her tracks. This was an exception. An emergency, you might say. "I am sorry - I can't watch", I blurted out, before leaving the room precipitously prior, fortunately, to D.Cameron saying a single word. Phew! A close one!
I cannot stand the man. I just have to see him breathing in to say something and I feel an almighty revulsion welling up inside me.
Anyway, as I travelled to London for a lovely day out with my daughter, I was aware, despite not purchasing a newspaper, that Mr Cameron had said something, following my precipitous departure from the viewership of GMTV.
Cicero has been singing about this. And I saw a few other reports on discarded newspapers on the W.H.Smith news board.
In essence, Cameron is saying that kids need fathers. Brilliant.
Tory leader David Cameron has called for more powers to "compel" fathers to look after their children in an effort to tackle gang culture. He said he backed tax breaks to help families stay together and promoting a "culture of responsibility and respecting authority".
Oh good, another load of old cobblers from Cameron, I can rest easy. He isn't about to stuff the LibDems.